Crisis Team Visit #2

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Two different people came to see me this afternoon, they didn’t seem to know anything about me and asked the same questions again; how is my sleep, what do I do when I have suicidal thoughts. I don’t think anything really came of it to be honest, I had written down an extract from my blog that I was going to show them but never felt like I had an opportunity. The man did most of the talking and he seemed distracted and distant, the young woman was more friendly but I don’t think I’m quite ready to hand over a piece of paper with such dark and morbid thoughts over to smiley people. 

The nights are much harder for me, I’m ok at the moment and maybe I will be today, but when I’m at home on my own and away from civilisation I feel isolated and hopeless. One of my flatmates saw them leaving and I don’t know what to say if they ask who they were. They know I have some mental health problems so I’m considering just saying they were psychologists who came to see how I was getting on, which isn’t exactly the truth but not a lie either. I don’t think that’s too weird, but I’m not sure..

In other news, I got invited to one of my flatmates birthday celebrations next month which was nice of them. I’m going to try my hardest to go, even if I only join them for the pub/bar section of the evening and don’t go along to the clubs.

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4 thoughts on “Crisis Team Visit #2

  1. That will be great if you go, but don’t force yourself if you feel really uncomfortable about it. I’m also glad you wrote out an extract from your blog, even if you didn’t show them. Maybe there’ll be a chance in the future.

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  2. Ruby Tuesday

    I think it’s a really positive thing that you’re considering going out for your friend’s birthday; I’m proud of you.

    I’ve always found crisis team visits odd … I’m not sure I could tell them even if I was in a crisis! I am thinking that there needs to be a flag system, so we don’t always have to say things out loud.

    take care xxx

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  3. Thanks, I will see how I feel nearer the time, its not for a month or so yet 🙂

    I know what you mean, Ruby. It’s very awkward and sort of surreal. I would feel ridiculous saying out loud that I am having a crisis and think I might actually kill myself. They’re so friendly (or distant, there seems to be no middle ground in my experience so far) that I don’t think I could drop that bombshell on them.

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  4. yeliz

    hi, to be honest you sound like a very intellegent person and no matter how it seems right now, trust me your not the only one because im going through it aswell 😦 im 21 and i really havent gotten anywhere in my life I have tryed going to college to persue my dreams but because of my social phobia i had to give it up. I really think we could help eachother, and I would really be pleased to hear from you my name is Yeliz Alciner search me in facebook then we can talk about it, I hope to hear from you soon and hope you see this message! x x x

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