It's calm, I'm alone

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I know I could make it there this time, there will be no interruptions at this time of night. I had abandoned the plan of jumping, not sure if that bridge is high enough to be certain, but it’s tempting me again. I won’t leave without saying goodbye.

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6 thoughts on “It's calm, I'm alone

  1. Lola Snow

    Well, this is an awkward post to come in and identify myself. It would be a bit rude to jump in with lots of helpful advice and reasons to ask for help no matter how hard it is. But having said that a) I am a bit rude and b) I couldn’t leave a post like this without saying something, even if it is in desperation.

    I’ve been where you are now, and there are always options for you. They all might be as hard as each other, but only one of them is final. Life IS worth living, it’s just you’re struggling to see out of the hole you are in. Call out for help in any way you can. I know me saying pick up the phone and call the crisis team, is asking the impossible. At the time you feel at your most tired, you have to start with seemingly the biggest challenge, but if it saves your life, then it is worth any repercussion that your mind can dole out to you. You deserve not to live like this, you deserve to have a better life no matter what your head is telling you. Life can get better for you, but you have to stick around to see it happen.

    Lola x

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  2. Nick

    Thank you K & Lola. I wish I could see it that way, but all I can see ahead is more struggling and wishing to escape. I’ve been this hole so long, I can’t imagine any other way of living, and it doesn’t seem worth it any more.

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  3. Lola Snow

    I know how blinkered it can seem, and it’s a massive leap of faith to hang on when it feels there is nothing to get hold of and hang on to, but you just have to believe me when I say this won’t be forever. It is worth it. People care about you, and you have so much to offer, it’s only you don’t see it from all the way down there. It’s dark and it’s cold and it’s god damn lonely being depressed, but I can only imagine how much more isolated you must feel having SA too.

    All is never lost.

    Lola x

    Like

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