Leaving Home Part 1

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It’s less than 2 days until I go now and I just spent the evening with my dad so he could say goodbye. It was a very strange experience, he was very helpful and encouraging in his own way, it reminded me of when I was younger and he used to console me about the bullying at school even though I never really explained what was going on. I complain about him a lot but he truly does care and want the best for me. It was so sad to say goodbye, even though I’ll only be about 50 miles away 😦 I’ll miss seeing him often, he’s always at his girlfriends house on weekends so it’ll probably be Christmas before I get to see him again. Even he seemed tearful as he left the house, I’m dreading what my mum is going to be like 😦

Something that bothers me more than how much I’ll miss my family is how much they must be expecting of me now. It seems like the time has finally come when I’ll be out from under their feet. They never make me feel like a burden, but I do it to myself. I just imagine I must be a disappointment; still at home after all these years, especially when my mum’s boyfriend has 3 daughters who are the same age or younger than me and have all moved out on their own. I am already 5 years behind where everyone else is and I simply won’t be able to live with myself if I mess things up again. There will be no going back, I can’t face the disappointment and empty life ahead if I cannot cope with university and get a degree. There’s no place for a 23 year old loser who has dropped out twice and has no hope of a job. That will be it.

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7 thoughts on “Leaving Home Part 1

  1. uncensoredmind

    good-byes are usually hard.

    try not to place urself under too much pressure because i find that doing that just makes things worse. do ur best and take each day bit by bit.

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  2. It does mean a lot to me, thank you πŸ™‚

    good luck for tomorrow- have been thinking bout you.

    it will be hard to say goodbye, but like censored mind said, just do your best, and tackle things bit by bit you will be fine i’m sure

    Thanks! I will try my best.

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  3. dinka212

    Heyyy, I just added tag surfer and came across your blog. I have started writing my own blog a while ago. Where r u from?? I must say that your story has got my eyes fixed on your blog. I think I’m gonna spend a lot of time here. So which Uni are you studying in??

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  4. Thank you dinka πŸ™‚ I don’t want to give too much personal information out in case this blog comes back to haunt me in the future.. I am from the Midlands in the UK though and I’m going to uni there too, studying computer science.

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